I relaxed in the bed with a completely new understanding that, for the first time, aligned everything. I gazed down over my nude body...my tattoo...my obvious tummy. Bobby was a good guy from the beginning. I was the one who had done wrong. I was pregnant when he met me. He had to play the hand he was dealt. He only wanted what was right.Was that all there was to it, or was it a logical extension of the black man’s taboo desires for a white woman? There was no question he found such self worth handling my “situation”. I thought about all the black men who had sexed me. They all found such a possessive ego boost as they possessed my body. As usual my mind moved back to numbers. It was like counting sheep. In addition to all those black guys that had sexed me during the program, last night alone I had taken at least ten more lovers...so I was going to count this lovely athletic guy as number fifty five. That was a good number for him. What a nice young guy. My, he was big, long and. . I was once at home, eating dinner, alone-the usual (sigh) while watching T.V, i was thinking about myfrieldfriend, and why she wssnt here with me, but then it came back to mind that she was on holiday in spain, i quickly thought that she would be with other men! but the thought slowly left my mind as i remembers the love between us. I didnt know wjat to do that nite as i was so bored and noone to make love with, i soon stoped feeling pity formyself and drank all the vodka i could find!! i drank and drank smoked till i droped, then i must have dozed of. The next morning i woke up with a bad hangover and a headache, and i thought what had happend!! i then got up and walked to the toilet, and i saw a bra. I thought where on earth did it come from? I then walked to the kittchen and saw breakfast, ready, and made for me, I was shocked and baffled! I wondererd around my flat looking for someone thinking that i made love! (yes, its been months) then i saw my girlfriend, sitting on my coach.
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