‘I . . .oh, Lily. My life is such a mess.’ He covered his eyes with one hand and hung his head. I knew he was crying. I quickly got up and went to him. ‘Oh, honey, no.’ I put my arms around him and he clung to me, crying softly. ‘You’re going to get through this. I promise.’ I stroked his hair and his back. I guided him to the bed and sat him down on the edge. I kept up the soothing words and held him tenderly. I eventually coaxed him into bed and sat next to him until he relaxed enough to fall asleep. I sat there for sometime just watching him sleep, stroking his hair. Finally, I slipped under the covers next to him and slept as well. For the next two months we slept side by side. He never spoke about Michelle and I stopped asking if he wanted to talk. Somehow I knew he was gaining comfort just being there with me, even if we didn’t discuss his marriage. Finally, one morning he told me he had found an apartment and was moving out that weekend. And that was the end of that. Our. She was on the verge of tears, I moved across the aisle and put an arm round her. She buried her head in my chest and pounded the table with her fist. ‘Oww,’ the last blow had missed the table and hit my leg. ‘Oh, I am so very sorry,’ she replied, ‘don’t mind me, I am just being silly.’ ‘No problem.’ ‘I could burn them but this is a non-smoking carriage,’ she started to laugh, hugging me closer. ‘Fifty quid fine either way,’ I pointed out. ‘Know what I would like to do right now?’ This seemed most likely to involve sharp objects and stabbing but I didn’t want to break the mood so I just shook my head. ‘Fuck.’ I had no doubt she was serious, she had looked me straight in the eye and pronounced the word slowly and distinctly. My mind was racing but I forced myself to think about logistics. I had the condom I always carry, we were at most twenty minutes from my destination but there was a local stop five minutes earlier. The carriage was almost empty but too full to risk.
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