“I just liked to watch…” I softly told him and then turned shamefully to leave. I couldn’t believe I had actually confessed such a thing. I had said it out loud and it seemed to make him feel a little better at any rate.“Mom?”I stopped. I could feel my stomach flip as I turned around, “Yes Honey?”Then Brian said something that changed everything.“If you really want, you could just leave the door open.” He said.There was another long silence. However, this one was different. This one made me feel all tingly inside. It made me feel―Well―Like I was in high school again and Billy Henson was feeling me up under the bleachers. I was a bit stunned. A few minutes ago, I’d stumbled upon my son jerking off and now―Well―I wasn’t exactly sure what was happening. All I really knew was that I didn’t have to wonder about the size of my son’s dick anymore. It was huge and I had told my son something extremely personal. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out…“Are you saying what I think you’re. "I don't want to wish you good luck because I want you to stay, but I will, because I can see that it makes no difference to you how I feel, so take it." "Gary. Of course it matters, but I can't stay here. What do you think it's going to be like for me living in the town where I disappeared? My folks don't even know I'm not coming back yet Gary. Right now they have hope that Mike will be found alive. You and I know the real truth don't we?" I reached up and took his face in my hands. He was still taller but only by a few inches now. "Mike is gone and can't come back. As much as they adored my sister and ignored me, I know that they still cared something about me and when I ... he ... Mike, isn't found...," I stammered shaking my head, correcting myself; "How the hell can I sit in this town and watch the memorials and news reports knowing what I know? How the hell can I stay here knowing how much pain I caused them? It would be too much of a temptation to go to them, to try to ease.
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