Girl’s lovegames make me lose interest fairly quick, you see. In their college years, they still either feign indifference to reel you in, or they like charming boys because they like thinking they got the hot stuff, or because they want to prove just that to themselves. That, or they're sluts. I don't judge any of it, but having observed women for as long as I have, the female mystery is gone. There's only the sexual drive left, and for someone of my nature, that isn't enough. There's no true chemistry, no true sense of connection of mind as well as the body. Only fulfilling your low-level instincts.Thinking over that, I had snuck inside an abandoned railway workshop just between the bus depot and a train station, almost literally crammed in between. A dark, crumbling, deserted place, with all the tools and material gone, only a space covered in dust and small debris. A place like that that would be begging to become a murder scene. I had thought of going there often and on that. I guess I made a pitifulsight, standing there in my bare feet, with nothing on but a thin,shorty nightgown. My grandfather held out his arms and pulled me in. "Oh baby! Youhaven't done anything wrong. I wasn't mad at you. I was mad at myselffor barging in on you like that and seeing you nakedlike that. I was mad at myself for the terrible thoughts I had whenI looked at you." I snuggled up in his lap. "You couldn't have terrible thoughts grampa." "Oh yes I can Lea, You are a very beautiful girl and I am a man." "So?" I hugged him a little harder . "Well, when men look at beautiful women they have these thoughtsand they want to touch them in places that maybe they shouldn't." "Do you think I am a beautiful woman, grampa? "Very beautiful Lea, very very beautiful." "You didn't touch me, grampa." "I thought about it." I mulled that over in my mind, trying to find the logic. "Grampa?" "Yes Lea?" "Does this mean you won't put lotion on my.
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