What I found there shook me right down to my very soul.When I say soul I don't mean soul in the religious sense. I don't think that kind of soul exists. I don't mean soul in the way a poet or musician does either, although I do believe that kind of soul actually does exist. No, what I mean by soul is the place deep down inside myself where the tiny, unquenchable little flame that is the core of my existence resides. My will, my power ... my self.In my soul I knew what had happened. I could feel it in my blood and bones. I could feel it in each one of my children. I should have realized sooner. The clues had been right there in front of me.I should have seen this coming.Izzy'd had chicken pox when she was eight and mono at eleven. Ivan came down with mumps at nine, measles when he was fifteen. My father got the flu once a year like clockwork. My mother constantly had colds and eventually died of cancer.I'd been a pale, weak and skinny kid, but I'd never been sick a day in my life.. She made no effort to cover up. She just kept talking like it was no big deal. Tracy dressed and we walked outside. I got into my car and she into hers. I started to drive off when I noticed in my mirror that Tracy was getting out of her car and opened her hood. I turned around went back to check on her. "I don't know what happened, it is completely dead. I must have left a light on or something." Tracy said. "My husband is out of town and I don't have jumper cables." "Well I can give you a ride, I have time." "Could you please you would be my hero. Are you sure you don't mind?" Tracy asked. "No problem." Tracy jumped into my car and away we went. She lived away out of town, nice big house. We talked the whole way out there. The roads were getting pretty bad and it was getting dark. Once there she invited me in. "Maybe you should stay, I can make you dinner and you can stay in our guest room." I thought it awkward but really did not want to drive much more. So I decided to stay. I.
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