I of course knew the way myself, but it was always a great pleasure to follow Charlotte up a flight of stairs.Following a few steps behind her, all I saw was the constant advertisement for her gorgeously rounded ass. Swinging side-to-side with every stride. A sexual pendulum. A perpetual motion love machine. I tried to dismiss these thoughts of my friend, but it took awhile. And never really took. Face it, Charlotte had an awesome bod. I'd trained myself to focus on other things, but nevertheless. I'd thought these thoughts when Tom was still alive. I could certainly control myself as she still grieved. And get some job done that she couldn't do herself.I was hoping it didn't involve a roof leak and soggy drywall.Charlotte stopped at the door and showed me in.Normally there's an air of unspoken excitement when a woman, however innocently, shows you her bedroom. You think of her in bed, sexing or sleeping, naked or nightie. You see her at the dresser, opening the lingerie drawer,. . Oh, hell, I don't know how tosay this without hurting you." You weren't ready, were you?"She shook her head. "No... No, I wasn't. I like you very much --maybe even love you." She stopped, realizing again that she _did_love him. "But I -- no, I wasn't ready for... for what happened."She sniffled and sounded ready to cry. "I'm so sorry."To Bridget, Brian - her male self -- seemed so far away, and sheneeded, more than ever, his steady hand to guide her. Why couldn'tshe just be physically a woman, and not have to feel the way they did?The emotions that were churning inside her were so assertive, soturbulent.She fought, she fought so hard, to ignore them, to be detached andlogical, like she managed to be at the card table.But these emotions were like the rush of warm floodwater, anirresistible force that managed to over-roll everything. Brian'sclear thinking couldn't reach her lips through such turmoil.Everything came out the wrong way. Here she was, saying words to Capthat.
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