Amateurish, I think. Keep things simple. Remember what your boyfriends liked.“You want me to just do this?” I ask as my right hand dances along the fabric of the sharp crease of his trousers. He nods again and his Adam’s apple bobs.“So,” he says after a little nervous cough. “How long have you done this?“This?” My eyes fall to my hand, trailing up his inner leg. “Oh at least 30 seconds.”He laughs at the joke which isn’t a joke.“Feel better now?” Be less clinical, I tell myself. More confident.He nods again and gulps. My hand runs to his groin. With the pads of all four fingers I traverse the fly of his trousers and I’m relieved to feel a hardness there. I push in a little.“I think you need some help,” I say, and I bring myself up on the sofa, legs open, to straddle him. My gown slips a little, baring one shoulder and his eyes lower to stare at my boobs. In the cramped space between us, my fingers run up to the button above his fly and undo it. In the same movement, I catch his zip. "Pretty soon you will be all grown up, so don't wish your life away." Mummy says I am lucky because I wont have periods like other girls but I know that I am growing up now," she pointed and looked down at her tiny assets again.It was not always so happy. There were periods of depression when she would realise that her male past was gone and that she would have to be female. Part of that was also related to her expanding chest. Within a year the hormone treatment had had a marked increase in her bust line and she was a natural 32b.Her hair was allowed to grow out too and soon was way past her shoulders. Sally and Amanda insisted on it being carefully cut and styled and it was always bouncy and healthy. Whenever we went out we insisted that Laura wore a skirt or a dress. She wore them sometimes under protest but she wore them all the same. All these influences had an effect on her demeanour and slowly she came round that this change would not be so bad after all.Perhaps the most.
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