’ She dismissed it like it wasn’t important. To her it wasn’t, I guess. ‘But why leave? Why here? What are you making, maybe $15 an hour? We were paying you twice that!’ It hit me how out of touch with reality this woman was. ‘So you were mad because Cary was messing around with her? That’s nothing, Cary messes around with all the women.’ ‘Look, Darla. I am from a different world. I want my work to mean something, I want my life to mean something. I want the woman I am with to mean something.’ ‘You could be with me. I have way more to offer than Amiko does.’ She smiled, her fingers tracing the edge of her halter top. Then she stepped up to me. ‘No, Darla. I just can’t.’ ‘Why don’t you come back, we will even give you a raise.’ ‘It’s not money, Darla. It’s just not money!’ She looked at me oddly. ‘Then how about if I tell Cary that Amiko is off limits?’ ‘Some things can’t be put back, Darla.’ Her expression changed, got dark. ‘You are crazy!’ Then she stormed out. I heard the big limo. I wanthaters to give me their best shot because I would be a confident beautifulfat woman. I know there are mean people who make fun of larger women, butI wonder how thrilled I would feel to be called a "fat girl" or havesomeone make fun of my huge butt. I have read so many fat-positive blogsthat I know it would inspire more confidence in myself. Big is beautiful!I haven't really thought of men sexually before, but lately I have beganto fantasize about being a BBW with a man. I don't like men culturally,but I think I would enjoy having a man see me and treat me like a woman.Honestly, I have many more fantasies about being a lesbian, which is how Ireally view sexual myself (even though my body is male, my soul isfemale).Yes, I probably have gender dysphoria that was mostly brought on by sexualonline fantasies, but each day that passes I seem to become more in lovewith feeling female in my soul.I am also very submissive sexually, and the though of finding someone whowould be turned on.
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