“You wanna watch for a bit, sweetie?” Beth suggestively asked. “You think I’m not up for this, don’t you, Miss Funny-fanny?” Allan replied, doing his Sean Connery as James Bond impression. Allan’s poor Scottish accent was actually worse than his Australian accent, both bad enough to be humorous. It was so normal of Allen. He and Beth often went into abstract character mode, their humour being on the same level. “It’s not logical, Captain” she replied, her hands by her ears as though impersonating Dr. Spock. “Who you gonna dance with, luv?” Allan replied normally. Beth looked around and saw a guy, flamboyant in his dancing and wearing the same outrageous clothing that the Village People used to wear. “I want that one,” she said in her best. “Little Britain,” voice, pointing to the gay bloke. Allan smiled, knowing she was 100% safe with this guy. “See you in a bit” he said, kissing her gently on the cheek. Beth went to walk away, but Allan held on to her elbow. She turned back and. He looked very embarrassed but I explained that we were all hoping to get a shag at the woman from the party and also told him that Steve was bisexual and loved giving blow jobs. That perked him up and I left the two of them chatting. They knew that David was the only one who didn’t know what was going on.David was 15 minutes late but showed up. The TV was playing in the background and I got going with the can of beer. David was a very good looking English public school boy-type. The straw blonde hair was slightly unkempt and his clothes had a slightly untidy but quality look about them. He looked like I imagined Hugh Grant might as a teenager. He took to the beer like a duck to water and within 30 minutes was talking animatedly. It took an hour before all the guys were well oiled. The football was almost forgotten while the conversation was turned to sex. I had already told the two later guys that Vikki had been out for lunch and instead of going out, had passed out and was sound.
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