I decide to go see Alex even if I don't like him. I think bout the dark mood he is always in. We have been working on a play together the past two weeks. Today I need to go over and help him make some revisions. The October wind cuts at my face as I walk outside. I am wearing a tight brown dress and gold ballerina flats. I have cut my hair super short again and dyed it red. People are staring at me as I walk quickly past store windows and little eateries. I always get attention yet find myself alone most of the time. When I get to Alex's apartment, he lets me in with a smile which almost knocks me over. I walk inside and hand him my jacket. He is tall and thin about 6'3. I quickly find myself crushing on him. He tells me to come and sit next to him. He doesn't offer me a drink or a snack. He just starts on the scripts. I rollmy eyes and flop down next to him on the couch. "What is it?" he asked me. "Can I have some water?" I asked him, standing up again. "Yeah sure." He begins to. She was just grinning at me and I could tell she didn’t buy a word of it.“You don’t have to believe me, but…”“Wouldn’t you like to have Ben naked, on his knees, in front of you, readyto do anything you tell him?” she interrupted. “Ready to be whipped? Todo anything? Just because he’s so attracted to you?”I couldn’t help it. She painted the picture in my mind and I pictured it.Ben. “He’d never go for it,” I answered. I shouldn’t have said that.“Oh, he might well *like* it. Lots of men do–men you’d *least* suspect.”I laughed. “Not Ben.”“Have you ever asked him?”“No!” I answered, a little to quickly again. I giggled again: “What am Igoing to do, say ‘hon, would you like to let me whip you?'”She smiled again. “That isn’t so far-fetched as you think, but if you areembarrassed about it, there are.
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