I had already demonstrated pretty much everything I knew aboutgymnastics to all the adults in the house, and while I receivedwonderful, addictive praise for my actions, it was short lived. That iswhy I had turned my attention to Michael's game, hoping that it wouldawaken part of my old self. The challenge aspect of it still interestedme, but the actual gore, the entrails and circuits of the half zombiehalf robots was icky. Just like the caterpillar guts running down myarm. I wasn't exactly a gore hound any longer- not that I could watchthe violent death of anyone at this point without being forced to spenda solid week in Kathryn and Thomas' bed.***"Come on, I don't want to do that, mom. It's dumb, and Santa is forlittle kids."Michael's mother replied, "Michael, I know you don't want to go, butwe're going to do this as a family. You don't have to go and sit on hisknee or anything."Michael said, "Just being seen there is embarrassing, mom. If Courtneysees that I was there, she'll think. I'll fail as an artist. I'll fail as a man. Fuck! I wish I'd never agreed to meet this character. But he's right. I know now. It's clear as a bell. I'll have to put myself as an artist and as a man on the line with every piece of sculpture I'll do from now on.He pursed his lips and said, "I'll do it."I noticed the woman that had joined us was jerking on Philip's sleeve. She pulled him away and spoke softly out of earshot, but she was close enough for me to connect with her.What was that all about? she asked Philip.He told her.She looked at me and thought, Does that man put himself, what he does, what he is, on the line? Or is he merely being confrontational? He just challenged Jack to take a good hard look at himself and what he does. Does the man force himself to excel, be more than he can be like his challenge to Jack? If he does, I want to know him, form an association that'd be more than an artist explaining her art to a possible client.The woman was indeed Terry Carr, the other.
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