Joint ownership had put a stake in that idea. I needed an option and with the state my mind was in that afternoon I knew it wasn't going to come to me then.My last note about whom I should trust was a reminder to me to be very careful about the people I talked to and what I talked about. I wanted to do nothing that would tip off Sandra or Randall about my knowledge. I pretty much ruled out telling the kids. I was sure one or both of them would spill the beans so they were going to have to be kept in the dark at least as long as their mother.I did my damndest to act normally that afternoon. As usual on a Sunday evening it was just Sandra, Merry and me for dinner. Jon was living on campus and we seldom saw him apart from holidays or when he needed money. I managed to get my emotions under control by the time I picked up the package from the Chinese restaurant. I didn't have much of an appetite but I was determined not to draw attention to myself.I wasn't very effective at work over the. "Sure, you can help me with the equipment."I was an avid photographer back then, even had my own darkroom. We gathered everything together in my jeep, then drove the short distance to the ocean.We walked for a ways along the sandy beach. I stopped once in a while to get photos of the waves as well as some telephoto shots of terns and blue herons. Sarah seemed happy tagging along with me, handing me lenses and filters when I wanted them.As I was lining up a shot, she suddenly jumped in front of the camera and said "Why don't you take some photos of me?"She was dressed in shorts and a flower speckled blouse. I was very excited about turning the camera on her and was glad she suggested it."By the way, when you were sleeping, I went into your studio and looked at a few of your photos including some nudes of Jenn." Would you like to take some of me that way?" she said in pleading not so innocent way."I'm not sure if that's a good idea Sarah. You're pretty young for that sort of thing.".
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