This was perhaps the mostsignificant thing I learnt at school - that I craved community so muchthat I was determined to see it everywhere.I couldn't really see community anywhere at my boarding school becausethe closest we got to "community" was really as a "team" and that was nodifferent to a "hunting pack". The sense of being a community broke upat the end of the activity or sport or even during it when we (there I goagain trying to impose a communal term on the group of individuals ourschool teachers tried to pretend was a team) played as badly as we did.Then the recriminations flew and collective team failure turned intoindividual failure. Our teachers often spoke to us about "team spirit"not understanding that "community spirit" was what we really needed.By the time I left school I had not really worked out what my sexualitywas. I had worked out that I was not "normal" but then again was theresuch a thing as normal anyway?After finishing at school I went to university where. You feel him press two fingers onto you, just for a second or two, before if moves his hands back from under your skirt. To continue searching you. Back up your body his hands travel, around to your front, your tummy, lower chest and then your breasts. Oh god your breasts feel like they’re on fire, you almost beg for them to be touched, your nipples stick out and he discovers this as soon as his hands search there. They linger, one hand covering each breast, the nipples sticking into his palms. You wish that you could grab his hands and hold them there, you hear him tell you something, but don’t quite understand, ‘?’ ‘I said turn around.’ He spins you around and you are now face to face with this police man, he’s not handsome by any means but as you cast your gaze over him, you realise that you want him, he tells you to lower your arms to your side, and he leans in as he to kiss you, but this is not to be. He only wants to check your collar, so close, his face is so close that you.
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