I smiled and hoped that I would not wake up as a female inside the body of Molly because I had a sense of gender identity that found that far too confusing to even contemplate actually happening as some gigantic cosmic joke.It was the smell of cooking bacon that filled my nostrils with the suspicion that I was not home safely in my own bed waking up for my early morning run down along perimeter of the nearby park avoiding the “doggy dew” that stained the sidewalks and gutter with a checkboard of foul-smelling residue found all too often since budget cutbacks had ended the water truck program to keep the streets clean and fresh. I was reminded of a visit I had made in the recent past to the wonderful city of San Francisco and finding the streets to stink like urinals because of hordes of homeless people using the doorways as urinals in an animalistic state of careless abandon.I was happy to be reveling in the scent of cooking bacon and it made me hungry even though I had gouged myself. When I was a junior in high school, one of the football players ran into me in the hallway. He just bounced off me and fell to the ground. I offered him my hand to help him up, but because he was getting razed by some of his friends he slapped my hand away and instead started calling me names. At that time I was probably about six foot three and weighed over two hundred pounds. I shrugged my shoulders and started to walk away. He just wouldn't shut up, he kept calling me names, lard butt, freak, stuff like that. When you're different than everybody else, and you're only seventeen you're very self-conscious about everything. They were all laughing at me. I turned and walked right up to him and his friends and shoved him against the lockers. I told him to shut up or I'd shut him up. He pushed me back, his hands grabbing at my breasts. I started to beat him; it was only a matter of a minute and he was on the floor. I started walking away again when one of his friends jumped on my back..
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