We joked and laughed and left the bar quite blasted, tripping down the road and ended up in the park three blocks from our dorm and on the swing set. The motion of the swings was quite dizzying under the effects of alcohol. But I think that the fresh night air helped to combat the nausea which should have set in. The rest of the group had dispersed and I was left with Lizzi, Jane and Kate. Kate and I watched Lizzi and Jane in the moonlight and I wondered what it was like to kiss a woman. I’d never thought about it before and maybe it was the beer, but I asked and then found out. Sam, I sit here carefully reading words from my page, but all I can see in the letters is the concerned frown passing over your face that I’ve come to know quite intimately in the few times I have seen you since I left home. You said once that you trusted me more than anyone else in our family. You have to believe in me now. Kate’s lips were a lot softer than Jason’s and they tasted sweet. I think she’d been. On one table an assortment of canes was laid out in various materials; I ran my fingers along one, imagining what it would feel like when it made contact with my tender ass. I poked my head carefully behind the wardrobe, but while the assemblage of metal and chains I’d seen the other night was still there, the leg, and the body attached to it, was not. I bent myself over a low bench and tried to imagine someone was standing over me, but it didn’t feel right. There was a cabinet pushed back between curtains that I assumed hid windows opening out onto the lawn. The world fell away when I saw what was inside. One shelf was just full of gags of every size and shape, including several I’d never seen before. Another held a collection of cuffs and collars in every material from leather to what looked like steel. Below that were the butt plugs. The smallest was only slightly larger than my thumb. The largest must have been five inches wide at the base. I reached for the plugs first, picking.
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