.." I begin."Just shut the fuck up for half a second Alex!"I fall silent. My crying had stopped once I'd focused on his hand jobbut I could still feel some wetness on my face. I divert my eyes andlook to the ground, in another act of contrite subservience, so as notto anger his domineering male persona further."I thought I would enjoy it more," he begins. "Seeing you reduced tothis. But it seems my conscience and my body betrayed me. I expectedseeing you give yourself to me that way, and how humiliating andemasculating you perceived it, would give me a raging hard on. Butinstead I can't even get it up." I don't understand." I'm still flustered and more uncertain than ever."You honestly have no idea what you did to me Alex, do you? Whilst youwere off playing Doctors and nurses all weekend and I was here alonewith just my thoughts."I don't answer him. I know it is a dangerous trap."It's been over ten years since my day of financial independence. Nomore foster families. No more. My only mistake was getting older." You haven't found anyone else?" No, like a fool I always thought he would come to his senses; get over his penchant for a young girl and come back home. Now he tells me he's getting married. So, now I want to live out one of my fantasies." She said throwing back the remainder of her glass."A younger man is your fantasy?" I wondered."No Dean, YOU are my fantasy. From the day you started here at this Friend's I had my eye on you and would come home and fantasize that we might have an affair. By the time my husband got home from work I would be so worked up we would skip dinner. I would never cheat on my husband, but it made good fantasy to greet him at the door ready to go. Then recently I caught you checking me out and it made me feel young and free to be ogled, especially by you. When my girlfriend, who's in the same marital boat as me, told me about that Pulsar brush I took it to bed and dreamt about you. It was wonderful and, yes, I DID fall.
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