.. ... keep your mouth shut.Fixing the dentsOne day a Stepford Wife entered an auto body shop claiming that she’d suffered extensive damage to her new car.The mechanic thought he’d have some fun with her so he told her that she didn’t need him to fixed all the dents.He said she could fix them herself by blowing into the tailpipe as hard as she could and they’d all pop out.The Stepford Wives went home and proceeded to get down on her hands and knees in the driveway. She was blowing into the pipe as hard as she could and her face was turning purple when The Stepford Wife from across the street walked over and asked what she was doing?After hearing the whole story the second Stepford Wife pauses for a moment then responds, “Hello! The windows are down!”The Church GossipMildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church’s morals, kept sticking her nose into other people’s business.Several members did not approve of her extra-curricular activities, but feared her enough. The lawyer cleared his throat, and started reading from the will. Almost everyone was disappointed, secretly believing that a great fortune would be revealed, but finding instead that Uncle Benny wasn't that rich. He only had a couple thousand at most, which was split between his brothers. Danny hadn't expected anything, or at least not any money, but he'd at least hoped that Uncle Benny would have remembered. Once the reading was finished, everyone started leaving, and Danny started to follow out behind his Dad, but the lawyer motioned for Danny to stay for a minute. Curious, Danny waited until everyone was gone. The Lawyer, an older man picked up a small wooden box, and placed it in front of Danny. Curiously, Danny remembered seeing it on Uncle Benny's table. The lawyer smiled at him. "The deceased states in his will" the lawyer starts, "that this box is to be given to you. It also states that you are to be given it privately" With that, the lawyer says, "Good.
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