I had a shower and tidied myself up, slipped on the black evening dress she’d told me to bring and put my poor stockinged feet into another pair of heels and was on parade in the lobby by the required time. Flick was, predictably late but she never apologises so I had to live with it. She looked bloody fantastic as always.“God,” I said, “I wish I had some of your juice.”“I think you ought to re-phrase that, Darling. Come on, the limo’s here.”“You hired a limo?”“No, it has been sent for us, so get your arse into it and get your brain in gear. Tonight, you need to be at your best.”“Where are we going?”“Dolly Stern is throwing a bash and we, thanks to me, are invited.”That shut me up. Dolly Stern was one of the most important producers in the business. She had a reputation for being tough but fair and for pulling together the best casts for her projects. She also had a rep for being as gay as a carousel.An hour later and I was standing in a mansion, holding a glass of bubbly surrounded. ..Triple canopy isn't bad but moving through elephant grass is a bitch. Point takes all the skill and ESP you have and is draining as a marathon. You walk and your eyes never stop, you step in the footprints of the man in front and hope to hell he was lucky. Sleep becomes the dream and food a nightmare. Smell is more used than sight and hearing is God.Then the fun starts...You grow up in the racist sixties in the Deep South, you're raped by your stepfather and it's your fault because you're different. You have a roll of dimes taped tight that makes hitting lethal and you learn to use a knife. You never smile or laugh or cry and when your so-called parents walk out you know it's your fault. From the start you can't understand the games boys play... you do them anyway. When your seventeen you walk away from a scholarship and join the Air Force, hiding in plain sight. You try sex with men and sex with women and you still feel nothing so you close down even more. You don't much care if.
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