“Anything you want in this city, I can probably help you find it.” She winked. “Anything at all.”* * *After checking in Jessica, Marie, and Jane sat looking out over the city. They had opened a bottle of champagne and ordered a luxurious dinner from room service. Jessica felt well-indulged and happy but there was a yearning, too, for something more.She looked over at Jane, whose face was bathed in the orange glow of sunset. Jane looked calmer and more beautiful than Jessica had ever seen her. Her burdens had been lifted, Jessica realized; she was free now to live in the moment.“Jane,” said Jessica.“Hmmm?”“I was thinking, maybe you’d like to go back to your real name now. It would be OK with me.”Jane shook her head vigorously. “No. I want to be who I am with you, not who I was.”Jessica nodded. She looked over at Marie, who was stretched out on the couch painting her toenails. “Marie, what would you like to do tonight?”Marie shrugged. “This is nice.”Jessica refilled her glass of. They were walking towards the same class and called out to say hi, but Liz and Melissa waved them over. As if she were deliberately looking for a way to humiliate me, Liz insisted on showing the boys my assignment. I started looking for a hole to crawl into.I don’t know if I can explain what I was feeling, or why. You’re the doctor. Maybe you can explain it to me. I know I’m okay at drawing. I know that my drawings are fairly good – especially when compared to what most other people my age can draw. But any time people see my drawings, I find myself panicking. I have this terrible fear that they will point out the mistakes and the flaws and laugh and jeer. I have this terrible fear that they will walk away, saying things like, “I thought she was supposed to be good.” It terrifies me.I was getting angry at Liz. She knows how I feel. She sometimes gets excited about something and forgets. I don’t blame her. That’s the way she is. But I was still getting angry.I sidled up to the little.
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