In fact, watching Adam shoot his spunk into my knickers and over my hand, I couldn't help thinking how pathetic he was, and I felt let down. To tell you the truth, I'd never felt more frustrated than at that moment. Adam hadn't cared about what I wanted or needed. In fact, within seconds of cuming, he was zipping up his trousers and was totally oblivious to my state. That bastard used me, darling, and that hurt." I slowly shook my head, inhaled, then blew out my cheeks. "To him, I was probably just a desperate housewife looking for a good time, and he was happy to oblige. After taking his own pleasure, he was gone, like a rat down a drainpipe. Jesus, what was I thinking? I bet he was boasting to his mates before I'd even finished cleaning myself."A sudden thought crashed into my brain. I was sure it would make Daniel laugh."To make matters worse, the people further down the corridor were really going at it, and I remember thinking what a lucky bitch she is."I was right, Daniel's. ..probably belonging to your mother, sister, wife, girlfriend, painted with makeup and nail polish......masturbating away as you wallow in a deluge of girlie sensations - the soft friction of you sheer stockinged legs brush aghast each other and pretty panties around you waist, the tight embrace of a woman’s around your flat chest......immersed in girlie thoughts and girlie emotions.But all the while, there is this fear in the background - a fear of being caught in her stockings and underwear. So whilst you indulge yourself in girlie ecstasy and effeminacy, there is this common discomforting interface with the real world as you repeatedly peek through the blinds, or from behind the curtains lest she arrive home earlier than expected. The guilt builds up and conflates with an intense shame.“Boys and men don’t dress up in stockings and women’s underwear and masturbate.” “Why does feeling all girlie and effeminate feel so good?”“I must be some kind of depraved pervert, a queer, a fag”..
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