To her pleasure, it became clear that they were both reading from the same page. Get a bit drunk and then go to bed. Doug could blame the beer for cheating on his girl friend, and she could blame the beer for hopping into bed with him. Their hook-up would seem unplanned, incidental. They could, thus, remain at emotional arm’s length, while enjoying the physical. It worked, but not as Emily expected.They returned, arm in arm, wobbly on their feet, to the townhouse. Jason was gone. Emily expected Doug to lead her up the stairs to her loft or his room, but instead he pulled her with him into the light of the kitchen. "I want to fuck you right now, right here,' he said. With that he turned her toward the table, pulled her sweater over her head, loosed her bra and flung it aside, He kissed the back of her neck while his hands pulled up her skirt, and his fingers sought her beneath her panties, a finger stroking her clitoris, and then he inserted it into her vagina. She was wet.She was. I could not be sure that I was nothomosexual. After sleeping with Bruce I remembered particularly beingattracted to one of my class mates at school and wishing it was him andnot Bruce inside me. Maybe it was ok to be homosexual after all? Bruceand I had so much in common.Gradually at university Bruce and I built up a circle of female friends.Looking back now I cannot recall exactly how it happened. What I can sayis that we became a safe space for the women in our circle of friends asthey sensed, quicker than I did, that Bruce was gay and they also sensedthat I was too shy and too much of a gentleman to hit on them. Theyliked having a few non-threatening men in their group and Bruce and Ienjoyed being part of a "community".As I had long suspected, contrary to my schooling, it was a "community"in which women were my equals. I came to realise an integral part ofbeing part of a community was women. Women built community not men. Menmight found communities but it was women who.
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