Which I did.It was ... special.Afterward, Judy was overheard wondering how she gave up her one remaining virginity without a second thought.It was special.So sue me.Sometimes something comes along and breaks the cycle of how things are going. One minute it seems like the road ahead is set in stone, and impossible to alter. And then some small pebble disrupts the flow of things and from that moment forward everything takes a new, and completely different road.When I rejoined the girls that day, every single one of them seemed to see me differently. It was as if seeing me kill for them in such a brutal and dangerous way, changed, forever, their perception of me – Tommy – me – one - or both of us. Knowing how the violence hurt me inside, and the lengths Judy, Maureen, Belinda and Kate were willing to go to help me over the wall of my sadness, was some kind of cathartic for us all.The girls were more talkative, friendlier, kinder, much more helpful, and seriously interested in how I felt. Ghost. It decided it was a ghost. But whose ghost? It decided that didn't matter. It was content to be, simply, "Ghost."It took an interest in its immediate surroundings. It had no "eyes" but knew it was perceiving the reality around it as if it did. That was yet another thing it didn't fret about. None of that mattered. All that mattered was that it had a task to pursue. It realized it didn't know what that task was.If it had had shoulders, they might have shrugged.That, too, would take care of itself.And yet it could move around. It did so, exploring its immediate environment. Realization came to it that it could only move within certain bounds. It concentrated on the thing nearby. The knowledge that it was a construct of steel, plastic, copper and a few other materials didn't announce its purpose. There was the smell of oil about it, and the memory of motion in its components. It was a machine of some sort. The ghost wondered idly why there seemed to be a feeling of incompleteness.
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