"There was a pause on the end of the line."He and his girlfriend died in a motorcycle accident this past weekend,"Ron said. "Head on crash"I was shocked. Stunned. I dropped the phone in my lap.My roommate looked at me. "Tony, is something wrong?"I could feel tears forming. Chase was not someone I liked. I was jealousof him. But he didn't deserve this. I felt guilty that I disliked himwhen he did nothing wrong to me. Those feelings of being powerless andbeing embarrassed came flooding back again.**"Chris?" Cindy said. "What's wrong?" She reached over and silenced thephone without answering it. "Is this about last night?" She put her handout and touched my shoulder.I think I must've been emotionally numb for a long time, to block outthese feelings and these memories. At first I was thinking it had to dowith being bullied. But maybe that was the initial catalyst. It seemsthat I've been walling off parts of my memories where I was emotionallyvulnerable.I looked at Cindy. She's waiting for. Jilli drove home thoughtfully wondering whether to tell Joe or to just move on. She decided as it was his child he had the right to know. She thought she’d work out how to tell him over the next day. She found he was home, preparing an omelet so he added to the mix to make two. He was back after the last of the drenching and inoculations and would be heading out east to check on the hayfields. When Joe arrived at the table with two wines Jilli pushed her glass back towards his plate. ‘No alcohol for me for the next few months.’ His mouth fell open and he said, ‘You’re not?’ ‘Not what? Oh God – I didn’t mean to tell you this way.’ He grinned: ‘There’s a large number of ways?’ ‘I suppose.’ ‘It is mine?’ ‘Definitely.’ Joe smiled, pulled his chair out and patted his knee, noting she was acting a little flaky. ‘Come on.’ She rushed and clung to him. ‘I’m sorry. I had stopped using contraceptives and did not resume when I met you, we were using condoms and had settled into a steady.
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