How about I take my favorite daughter to breakfast? Great, she said. Im starving! After showering together for the first time, they set out to spend the morning together as father, daughter and as lovers. As they ate, shopped and met acquaintances he watched for signs of recognition from the people around them of the things they had done together the night before. Nothing. He was in a hurry to get back home, though. He wanted to undress his girl and start loving her again. There was one thing that had to be done before the loving, though, something important. As any good father, he had carefully and lovingly developed an open, accepting relationship with his daughter. He also believed in structure, and always made sure Shawna knew what was expected of her and what the reasonable, natural consequences for infractions would be. She had been an easy child to raise. In this new development in their relationship, he felt the need to set up the structure for it, a clear set of. To fill the gap I harbour in my soul seems pointless — neither family member nor any person on this earth can change the way I am. Death seems to be my only solution- my only escape and yet fate has not allowed me to leave this place and, I haven't the courage to do so myself. Invisibility would be a gift and yet the only thing I wish for lies within the bounds of impossibility.I want to disappear from the life I live and find another, I want to leave all those I know forever. I know myself better than any other and I know that I lack the capacity for truly endearing emotions. I love pain and danger yet I feel incapable of love and innocence. My life is a shadow of anger — I'm drowning in rage and disgust for myself. My entire being is an imposition.Water: an undeniably relaxing element. When I feel it swish against me at the beach, when it knocks me under it's surface with powerful surges and when it falls relentlessly from the sky I feel calm — as if my problems have disappeared if.
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