He would lose his job and he would be so depressed. Insanely depressed. And then he would drink. And when I thought he couldn't hate himself even more, he did. And he would move away from me. And from you. And he would wallow. For weeks. Until finally he would dry out and climb back. And then he would be happier and more positive. I loved him. He cared about me with a passion and a depth. I think that is why he hated himself so much. He hated the thought that he had failed us." Janet was crying. "Do you know how much a person can hurt, when all they can do is find comfort in hurting themselves even more?"Dana was crying."He never meant to leave us. He just hated himself. He was at the point when he was drunk all the time. He couldn't stand the shame. He was selfish in that aspect. He cared too much about what we thought of him. He left. I knew he was going." You did?" He couldn't hide much from me. Not the way I knew him. I tried to get him help. But that kind of help was not. " Just the two of us?" Yes, we haven't had a lot of time together this past few days, I seemto spend more time missing you than in your company." Me too. How about the day after tomorrow, I'll borrow the galley fromVictor and prepare the food." Will you have the time?" I'll make time, it's special. Come on if we delay any longer Emma,Faye and Liz will be going around suggesting we're up to all sorts ofthings."He chuckled. "You've made good friends there." And Gwyneth as well, she's sort of taken me under her wing. She has alot of kindness in her." You don't lack it yourself. By the way, I like the dress and the wayyou've done your hair, you look like a Thirties film star, seductive,exciting." He took my arm under his and we went to join the others.I behaved myself with the exception that this time when I danced thetango with David, somebody gave me a silk imitation rose and I dancedwith it between my teeth, silly I know but I think it made the otherssmile, in fact Gwyneth told.
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