Womankind has many secrets which baffle even the smartest of men. These secrets, every woman is sworn to keep. Women’s wild ways keep men guessing throughout the centuries. Well, now, I’m telling all. I’m sharing the secrets with men. Because I love men. The secret to taming men is part sexual, part psychological and part physical in nature. I’m going to teach you gentlemen how to take control of the women in your lives and become the men both they and you wish you were. It’s gonna be better for everyone in the end. Trust me. To hell with feminism, let’s embrace remasculinization. What is remasculinization? It means to render something more masculine than it was before. If you were to remasculinize Homer Simpson, you’d turn him into Chuck Norris. Do you understand it now? Cool. Let’s move along. First, I had to find myself an average man. A completely average man. He can’t be a total loser or an irresistible stud. He also can’t be filthy rich or dirt poor. He can’t be depressed and. I figured they'd be taking the elevator up to her room at the Weston.I was on my fourth glass of chardonnay when I summoned a cab for me and Jerome. For good reason, everybody except the recovering alcoholics were swearing off driving that night. When we got to Karl and Alice's place, the door was ajar and we followed the voices to their back porch.The room was pretty full, as we brought the crowd to eight, so I sat on the carpeted floor in front of Jerome. There wasn't room for everybody on the wicker sofas.Karl rolled the first joint and passed the bag to the others. Someone on the sofa behind me started one and eventually passed it to me. My first drag hit right between the eyes. I'd heard that the product had gotten stronger over the years, but to experience that was still a big surprise. I leaned back against the sofa and let the buzz sweep over my being. As the drug made its way to everybody, a quiet torpor overcame the room. We all just seemed to be taking it in. A second drag.
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