He stopped completely, like a thunder had hit him. Then slowly removed his fingers from me, while I struggled in agony. He lifted his hand where we both could see and it was stained. Stained with blood."No... No!No!No!NO!" He screamed like a monster, like his lungs were as strong as the rest of him. So he lowered his arms, carefully turning me to him, holding me by my waist, my feet still far away from the ground, and looked at me as kindly as he used to."Leticia... Leticia I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." He said rubbing my teary cheeks and looking at me with that absolutely black eyes. I just let my trembling face rest in his hand."It w-was Ricky, wasn't it?" I asked trying to endure the shivers and the pain I was feeling. He simply nodded with grieve and regret stamped all over his face. "You a-always were terrible when it came to other people..." I can't believe you're still talking to me after what I've done..." He said, his voice trembling as I've never heard before. "I simply. .. quietude. A formal politeness. Vanessa and I had learned not to try to patch things over; just give them some time and the storm cloud would pass.Except this one didn’t.A weekend turned into a week. Pilar had become so intimately integrated into our family ... well, she was missed. Walker, of course, didn’t talk about it. He’s a boy, he’s 15, he’s ... girl-stupid.Vanessa invited Pilar to lunch at our loft on the second Saturday of her self-imposed exile to Brookside. Pilar accepted, but turned down a ride, “I’ll just take the Max.” Main Street Max, about 20-minutes to the Crossroads.Pilar was her usual sprightly self — chatty, friendly — over lunch. I’d made a run to Bryant’s at 18th and Brooklyn in the Forgotten Northeast for bar-b-que. A slab for each of us, plenty of those fried-in-lard fries. Which Walker refreshed in our largest cast-iron frying pan.Ice-cold St. Pauli girl all around.Walker was ... not subdued, not exactly. More cautious than anything. Didn’t want to blurt out.
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