2. When drunk they were all very touchy-feely.3. When my wife was drunk she became very foul-mouthed and naughty.By the time I arrived at the pub it was 5:30 and the last half of happy hour. My wife and her colleagues were well on their way to drunk as they were already onto shooters.As I arrived at the table, I heard a chubby brunette say, "And number one would be Matt Damon." Number one in what?" I asked, interrupting their girl talk.All the girls broke out laughing. My wife stood up, walked over to me and kissed me hard. When she broke the kiss, she turned to her friends and announced, "He is my number one." Bull shit, that is not allowed," cried out a very tipsy Jenna, Alexis's best friend, and a raving beauty. "You have to announce yours in front of your husband for cheating, Alexis."Alexis smiled, "Ok." Announce what?" I asked."My favourite five," she revealed."Favourite five what?" I asked, still not catching on."The five celebrities she is allowed to fuck if she ever meets. Why?" Just curious," he looked at her for awhile before continuing, "Any chance you feel like doing it now? Might help you think about your rump in a sexy way." Noooooo," she snickered through her answer, "Now let me finish this chapter would you?"They both read, waiting out the midday sun. The entire time, Richard's right hand slowly worked back and forth across his sister's tiny, red-suited butt. By three o'clock he'd had enough reading."Ready for another ocean fix, Lizzie?" You go ahead. I'll join you in a few minutes," she looked up at him sort of sheepishly."Let me guess, something you need to take care of first?" he snickered."Don't be a jerk." Just say it and I'll go. Admit it. You're horny." Fine. I'm horny. Happy? And I need to do something about it or I'm going to get bitchy. So run along, buddy, if you know what's good for you." One last thing..." he stretched out a long pause, "show me." Show you what, exactly?" This thing you've had me groping for the past two days. Just.
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