Yet there was nothing sweeter than this that could ever chase me down and leave me shooting flags of surrender so helplessly against them. He let me go, and upon opening my eyes, there was merely my closed door before me. As I had said, it was a dangerous game when you spoke to a man who didn’t exist. A mere fragment of a second of bliss can begin the hunger of a famine to last for centuries. Hence, my now sinking heart, no longer afloat the rib cage and veins. No idea what the world may do for me next? Shall I find and lose yet another love, and plead for more, because life is so grand? I probably would, despite myself. I’m so full of hope that even the next heart break will only guide me towards the healing of my soon-to-be-broke again fixtures. ‘You can go if you want,’ I turned to look at my bed, where he now sat staring once more at my forever grieving stance. Perhaps it was the way he spoke which made me fall for him all at once, in spite of his non-existence, but I didn’t. But you pick it up.‘Hey tiger’‘Hi. Listen. Just wanted to say good luck with the date’‘No you didn’t’I’m laughing.‘I did. Honest”You sit on the edge of the bed.‘What’s that noise. What are you doing?’‘I’m having a massage. Say Hi Sarah’And you hear a woman say ‘Hello’, her accent distinctively English.‘I shouldn’t have picked up’ You say, a smile forming.‘So when’s he coming?’‘in five so I better get going. Are you really having a massage from someone called Sarah?’‘of course I am’‘Is she cute?’‘Is he?’And now you’re laughing.‘Let me speak to her’I pass the phone to Sarah.‘Hi Sarah’‘Hello’‘So you’re a masseuse?’‘I am indeed. And he is one of my favourite clients.’‘And tell me Sarah, it is all above board isn’t it?’Sarah laughs.‘Of course it is!’‘So is he naked?’‘yes, but there is my strategic towel of course’‘I’m jealous’You walk over and pick up a lipstick. You run it over your full lips, checking your reflection in the mirror.‘And tell me this Sarah. Does he get an erection?’I look.
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