.I was drowsy but could hear everything he said...He began to speak in his slow hypnotic drawl."You are in your early teens and you are having your first kiss with yourgirlfriend...."I was carrying Karen's school bag over my shoulder along with my own. Westopped at her gate. She leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. Then ourlips met and we snogged with tongues, our bags sat on the floor beside us.A small boy ran up the path towards us. "Karen's got a boyfriend....."The hypnotist continued..... "It's your sixth birthday and your mum isbringing out your birthday cake....."Happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Alex, happy birthday toyou......" I blew the candles out and looked at the Scooby doo cake infront of me.... to my side was a shiny new BMX bike.Again he continued..... "Shall we take him back further....." The crowdscreamed with excitement and chanted.... "DO IT, DO IT, DO IT" You are an egg, you are now before you were actually conceived....."I was a pulsating orb. I regretted how my music had madeTracey feel but I felt sure there must be something else I could do tohelp her feel safe around me. Wasn't there? Couldn't I just tell her Iwas sorry my music made her feel uneasy?No. Tracey had had some problems with men in her past. How could I ask?I felt vulnerable taking my bra off in front of my girlfriend but I wasabout to feel even more vulnerable appearing in front of her and her flatmate in a bra and panties and they insisted that I did so, so that Traceywould feel safe because I would want to cover up so people could not seewhat I was wearing if we had guests.Sarah gave me a pair of panties to match my bra.I hesitated. What was I doing? How far would this go? I needed thisflat. "Are you sure nothing else would make Tracey feel safe?"Sarah nodded. "She broke up with her last boyfriend when he refused towear the panties she had bought for him and she told me she had thoughthe was THE ONE." Great. But I don't want to be her.
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