Oh how I loved seeing my pretty Ronnie work during the day with no shirt on. Even better did I love the scent of him lying next to me at night, all sweaty from a hard days work, and no shower. The guys would walk down to the creek to wash up every morning, before theyd start work, but at night, they were au natural, and Ronnie, being just in his early 20s didnt smell rank — he smelled sweet — kinda like a horse after a summertime ride. That night, he just waited until he thought everyone was asleep, and then he turned to me. I quickly pulled the shirt off over my head.. this time I was gonna feel his bare chest against mine, and I pulled him close to me, with a whispered groan into his ear… He didnt have to ask permission to do anything tonight. As his hand traveled down my tummy to my waistband, my legs automatically opened for him, and he found a much easier access to my crotch, where he played with me again, seemingly for hours, although I know it wasnt that long. My heavy. There are several ways to go about it though, and you’ll have to find some way that works for you.’ She was silent for a short while and then she said with a slightly shaky voice ‘I used a visualization technique where I imagined my mask getting thinner and then making it look like a sieve, lots of tiny holes in it.’ I was surprised, both at the wisdom of her words, and her last confession on having had to deal with something similar to what I was going through. I didn’t know what to say except thank you and after Mary telling me that I could call her anytime, we said goodbye. I put the phone away and sat down in my sofa, my head even more full of thoughts, trying to sort everything out and to put things in neat, organized stacks of information. I had a mask because I was afraid of getting hurt. I wanted to be able to let certain people in, but not everyone. How would I be able to do that? In the end, when thinking about it had only given me a slight head ache, I gave up and went.
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