What else could I possibly do? "I'm a male. I don't want to bea girl. And I sure don't want to date any guys." Are you sure that's what you really want, Stanley?" asked Elysiaanxiously."I'm absolutely positive." But you said you'd help me out with my problem, Stanley Moulton."Elysia began pouting. She was even beautiful when she was pouting.Clearly, she was very unhappy with me at the moment. All other thingsconsidered equal, I suppose I couldn't really blame her for being alittle bit annoyed and angry with me. "How can you possibly help meif I have to change you back into a man before you have your date withRaymond? I don't really think he'll want to go out with you if you'rea guy too."That made two of us. "I know exactly how he might feel about that."I knew she was trying to make me feel like a miserable heel forchanging my mind again. The only real problem I had was it wasactually working. In fact, it was working a little too damn well.Even though I knew feeling the way I did was. The kiss is perfect and though I might have convinced myself it was if it weren’t, it simply felt too right for a wordsmith like me to describe. The noises that consumed me a few moments ago have disappeared and all I can hear now is the beat of my jittery heart. (God I feel sick) but it’s true therefore it has to be said. Most of us have the power to choose certain things nowadays, we have the power to choose who we date, who we want to speak to every day, who will be our friends for a long time to come, and who we will only call if things start to go wrong, there’s just one thing we don’t have the power to choose and that one thing is the most important thing of all. I’m a cynic nowadays and I would only quietly admit to myself that I’m crazy about you, you would still know of course, but it would only be my eyes that betrayed me and maybe I would cling to you a little bit too long after an orgasm, nothing too obvious. I can’t call it love making because the term makes me want to.
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