So I shouted, ‘You’ll never fuck me again, you bastard! No man will ever fuck me again. I swear, as God is my witness’ – and I know I shouldn’t have sworn, Father: I shouldn’t have said anything like that, but, God forgive me, I did – ‘I swear that no man will ever fuck this cunt again – or may God strike me dead!’ And then I ran out. And I never went back.“So now what do I do, Father? I mean, I’ve called a curse down on myself. May God strike me dead if I break my vow – that’s what I said! And, you know, I’ve stuck with it, Father. I’ve kept my vow. Ever since then, I’ve not been fucked. And that was six months ago – probably just before you came to this parish, wasn’t it?”Bernie paused. And Father Jim sat in the half-light, bewildered, confused, and scared. This woman must be unstable, he thought. Stark raving mad, actually. Why else would she come to the confessional to tell him, in the filthiest language imaginable – what exactly? – that she had caught her husband in flagrante. “But why in hell do you do it,” I asked, “if it always works this way?”“Look, Cam, let me explain the facts of life: This is midsummer. This is a very slow time of year for a big-city jewelry store. Do you know what kind of business we’re doing today?”I just shook my head.“Let me put it this way: The biggest selling period for fine jewelry and giftware is at Christmastime. The business we did here today would be great business ... for the busiest full week in the Christmas selling season. In fact,” he added, “we haven’t come close to totaling it up, but it wouldn’t surprise me if it was two weeks’ Christmas business! How’s that for ‘why’?”“But how... ?” I stammered. Meanwhile, Kris had just been watching the exchange, fascinated.“The Dawsons is how. Those women are the greatest asset we have! Now why don’t you come and meet them?” As he said that, I noticed him giving Kris a very strange look.We followed him in and then out toward the selling floor. At the doorway, we waited for the.
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