Peter says “This will be yours for eternity. You can live in that castle with servants to wait on you hand and foot, and you can have everything you want.”The bus driver looks and St. Peter and says “Well, now, don’t think I’m not grateful, but shouldn’t the priest get all this, not me? Shouldn’t I get the cottage and 50 acres instead?”St. Peter just laughs and says “The reason you get all this is because when the priest preached, everyone fell asleep. Now, when you drove your bus, people prayed!”If aliens are smart enough to travel through space, why do they keep abducting the dumbest people on Earth?Why is it that when you talk to God you’re praying, but when he talks to you, you’re crazy?Seen on a bumper sticker: “Old age is inevitable; growing up is optional.”My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong, and she agrees with me.The reason men lie is because women ask so many questions.Would a disaffected member of Generation X be a highly-motivated and successful person?Two. She's grown a lot since then. Maybe what she needs now is a mature and experienced man who can teach her more than Jeff ever could." Okay, now you're just making things up." Maybe. But back to my original point, if you had the opportunity to fuck her, without any consequences, would you do it?"He thought about that for a moment. "I don't know," he said."I'm serious. Suppose I was in favor of it, and everyone who knew about it was sworn to secrecy, and she agreed to do it. Would you?" I suppose ... if you didn't mind ... yes, I would." Okay, well, as it turns out, I am in favor of it, everyone who could possibly find out about it already knows what you did with her today, and they've already agreed not to say anything. So all that's left is to find out if she's willing." But I can't just go up to her and ask her. I mean, think how awkward she would feel, especially if the answer was no." If you ask her the right way, she won't feel awkward at all." And what's the right way?" Tonight,.
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