M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.”Confused, he asked his son, “So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??”His son replies, “Oh THAT ... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, “Leave me alone, I’m married!!”Broken Coffee Table $239.99Hot Breakfast $4.20Two Aspirins $ .38Saying the right thing, at the right time: PRICELESS!Dear Tech Support,Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and. " Please join me in this little look into a possible futurefor some old broad named Dorothy Colleen...."It was Dorothy's birthday, and the whole extended care facility wasbuzzing with anticipation.In the year or so since she arrived at the facility due to losing hermobility, she had become a favorite to nurses, aides, and residentsalike. Not many people were immune to her smile, her tendency to huganyone willing to take one, her infectious laugh, or the way she adoptedthe people around her into her family, making everyone who wanted to beinto a son or daughter.Her daughter Samantha and her family came early and helped change thedining room into Birthday Central, with pink streamers and balloons hungin every corner. The center table was piled with presents, some of themhaving spent long trips in the mail to arrive in time for the occasion,and a large chocolate cake had been made and iced with the best wishesfrom those who loved Dorothy, which was nearly anyone who spent any.
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