.Two young guys appear in court after being arrested for smoking dope. The judge says, “You seem like nice young men, and I’d like to give you a second chance instead of jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to convince others of the evils of drug use. I’ll see you back in court Monday.”On Monday, the judge asks the first guy, “How did you do over the weekend?”“Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever.”“Seventeen people? That’s wonderful. How did you do it?”“I used a diagram, your honor I drew two circles like this: Oo. Then I told them that the big circle is your brain before drugs and the small circle is your brain after drugs.”“That’s admirable,” says the judge. Then he turns to the second guy. “And how did you do?”“Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever.”“Wow!” says the judge. “156 people! How did you manage to do that?”“Well, I used a similar diagram,” the guy says. “I drew two circles like this: oO. Then I pointed. I put that stubborn, misbehaving bitch of a sedan into reverse and drove it out of the parking garage feeling so manly and pretending I was my hot and sexy partner heading in to work for the day. I just had to find a private spot to have some fun with his car. Luckily, there were a few unlit and secluded parking lots not far from where we lived. I had an idea and I was going to do what I had been fantasizing about for some time. I drove for a bit revving his shitbox every time I had to stop for a stop sign, feeling his car protesting at the abuse and then turned into the lot I was thinking about. Took my foot off the gas and let the car coast along and then turned the key off and started to pump the gas pedal like crazy until that bitch of a Pontiac came to a full stop. And then I started to crank it. The piece of shit wouldn't start, of course. Kept pumping that pedal relentlessly and kept rubbing my left hand against the coarse grain of my partner's trousers never letting up on.
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