Wait for direction to get out of wet clothes. Wait for an invitation…’ ‘Is that such a bad thing, really? Would you prefer I presume?’ ‘That’s just it. ‘Would I prefer…” She shifts round to lounge before me, head in palm, weight on one side and one elbow, ‘What, for once in your life, would you prefer?’ The lingering smoke makes this a far more profound question than it could’ve been. My preferences at the moment encompass world peace and a bit off affection, with no preference which I get. Also present, though: the niggling fear that always accompanies criticism, it draws my brows together and I study the dregs in my glass to avoid her eyes. ‘My point. So damned afraid of offending someone or being rejected. This way it’s not your fault if something goes wrong, because you were, after all, only following direction.’ God. Damn. It. ‘I’m finding it rather hard to hear that from someone who’s known me the grand total of one night,’ I answer archly, and immediately regret it, tone and. Later I remembered that I had ordered another item from the same dealers and was tensed what if the same guy comes again. I took off from office the next day also to recover from this shock. The same delivery boy came the next day also. This time I was wearing a decent T and pyjama. I was worried what if he tells others about yesterday. I asked him to come in and sit. He came and sit. I said I’m embrassed about what happened yesterday and not to tell about it to anybody. He said fine but I should allow him to talk to me on phone. I agreed. He left. I felt relieved. Later on that day, he called me. I received the call. He said it was his first time to see live a woman like that. He Masturbated that day. He wants me to get into his pants.I had a mixed feeling of tension and shy. He started calling me daily after that. Even I became comfortable with him and started sharing my feelings with him. One day he called me and told to meet him at his friend’s room the next day. He said his.
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