Early in period four though, Clarissa’s friend Emily sought me out. This wasn’t going to be good. She was bound to blame me for what happened to Clarissa just like her mom did.“Paul?”“Hi, Em.”“I er ... I went to see Rissa yesterday.”“How is she?”“Oh, she’ll be fine. She’ll be fine.” She looked as if she had something else to say but wasn’t sure she wanted to say it. She held her hands in front of her, jiggled her foot and kept glancing around the room.“Good. I’m glad she’s okay. Do you know when she’ll be back at school?”“You can ask her yourself.” She bit her lip. “She wants to see you.”“See me?”Emily nodded and sat in the chair opposite. “She wants you to go around her house after school tonight. She says there’s something she needs to tell you. She wouldn’t tell me what it was, but...”“But what?”“But I think I can sort of guess what it is.”“So what is—”“Well, I can’t tell you, can I?” She rolled her eyes. “I mean, I might be wrong. And even if I’m not...” She shrugged. “You know.. Anyhow, given my new promotion and all the upcoming travel and soon I won't have time for that kind of thing anyhow. Is that OK?" Shesmiled and looked genuinely hopeful. "Please?"She really wanted me to come live with her, for us to live together,even though we wouldn't be blending our lives altogether, not just yet.But I'd be sleeping with her every night, nearly, and she wants that!We'd be together all the time! Nearly.What's wrong with me? I had to accept her terms. I'll be living withthe most beautiful, the best-natured girl I have ever known, my chosen-but-not-yet-choosing life-partner-to-be I hoped. I'd have everyopportunity to make her feel that same way about me! To prove to herthat I was her ideal mate, eager to make her happy, to fulfill her everydesire. That's what I wanted above all. She wasn't ready yet to call usa complete, an indivisible couple, 'one flesh' as the marriage ceremonyputs it. She wasn't ready to share all of her life with me and only me.But.
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