This. I may look better on the outside, but my emotions are still a mess. I’m completely drained. It’s not just about your sister, Karin, there are so many other things that I’m dealing with.”“I’ll listen if you want to tell me,” Karin said. “Please let me help you.”I considered whether I should open up to her. She was young, even younger than Sofia. Was it right to pour all the pent-up emotion out here, to her? On both my visits, Karin had offered support without asking for anything in return, simply by being by my side. Yes, she had twice offered herself to me, but it had been done in a subtle, loving way that asked for nothing.I struggled with the situation because every time I looked at Karin, I saw Birgit. When she spoke, I heard Birgit. When she touched me, I felt Birgit touch me. That was part of why I had sent her away — being with Karin needed to be about Karin, not about Birgit, and I couldn’t separate them.Now, Karin was offering to listen, to help. Sending her away. You and Harriet were my audience for a long time. I did feel encouraged.”“And Harry probably gave you more shit than I did.”“She did,” Joe chuckled. “You got lyrics for this.”“Still working it out.”“Really?”“It’s different now, Joe. I feel like a blank slate. This will be the hardest song I ever wrote. A song of goodbye. For the Monsters.”“Nigella.”“Yeah. I don’t want it to be angry. Or at least not entirely. I loved her Joe. I want to express that too.”“Maybe I can help.”“We’ve only collaborated on No Contest.”“It’s my favorite Monsters tune.”“I guess I’m partial to it too.” Eddie went into it. They harmonized, Joe taking a much deeper tone than Eddy. It felt like it sounded good to Joe. Eddie’s smile after seemed to agree. “Are you going to be my bassist?” he asked.“I’d like that.”“Cool. I’ll show you what I’ve got.”“I’m thinking of writing a musical for Charlie. For Morpheus. For its final show.”“And you want me to write the tunes.”“Maybe we can write everything together.”“You.
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