For my sperm, the route from my home to Murphy’s uterus was a complex one at greatly varied speeds. The trip began with a car to the airport parking lot and a bus to the terminal. From there it raced at more than 500 miles per hour to Chicago’s Midway International Airport and a rental car south for 45 minutes. From there was a meeting at a bar, where Murphy awaited me. We’d planned every detail of this meeting for weeks following a six month internet relationship that gathered interest, steam and passion. I knew that somewhere in that bar, Murphy’s unseen husband was looking me over, and that through some secret signal, his ultimate decision would be conveyed to Murphy. She’d add her vote to his and either suggest that we leave the bar, or she’d finish her drink and kiss me goodbye, no hard feelings. If the decision went in my favor, the evening would progress to dinner and dancing after which my sperm would make the most exciting part of their journey, like racing competitors in a. “Well are you going to put me out of my misery or what?”“I guess I’ve teased you long enough,” she said giving me her sweetest little girl smile. “I found out something quite interesting about Jack last night.”“What’s that,” I asked.“That he’s having an affair.”“Who is she, someone he works with?” I asked.Not quite, as you’re aware Jack spends about three weeks out of four on the road, so his love interest is as you surmised someone he works with and interesting enough travels with, but it’s not a woman, it’s a man.”“How do you know that?” I asked curious as to how Laurie had gleaned that particular morsel.“Jack was working in his study, which is upstairs, so he shouted down for me to get something out of his briefcase. When I opened it, lying right on the top was a magazine that he must have forgot was there. On the cover was a picture of an almost naked guy, when I picked it up a letter fell out of it. I know I probably shouldn’t have read it, but I just couldn’t resist. It started.
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