And there wasn't shit he or his good buddy the Mayor could do about it. I had fourteen witnesses, one of whom was a minister and two who were off duty policemen, who saw Uncle Steve attack me from behind.To add insult to injury I pressed charges and unfortunately for Uncle Steve the District Attorney and the Mayor were old enemies and the DA had his eyes on the Governor's mansion and was in no mood to cut deals especially for a buddy of the Mayor. It went to trial Uncle Steve had a pretty good attorney who was able to convince the judge and jury that he was so despondent over his niece being missing that it affected his judgment. Of the four counts against him the jury only found him guilty of simple assault and the judge gave him the minimum penalty allowed. Uncle Steve spent sixty days in county jail, was put on a year's probation and given five hundred hours of community service.Uncle Steve's actions did have consequences for me. Neighbors and others I knew were distancing. .. to the next Halloween party. But he still needed a gimmick that would put it over the top. So he turned to his cousin, Mark, who worked supplying special props to the movie industry.“What you need is horns,” Mark said. “But they have to appear only when you want to show that you are horny.” He then laughed at his own joke.Stan just scowled at him, but Mark said, “No, seriously. I’ve got these horns that glue to your hair and scalp. You just comb the rest of your hair over the little nubs. When you want them, just press on either one of them and they pop up slowly. You can make it look like you are just pulling your hair out of the way. Then when you want the horns to disappear again, just push on both of them slowly and the special springs push back down until the catch engages again.”“How much?” Stan asked.“I sold the final versions for three grand apiece,” Mark answered, grinning at the shocked look on Stan’s face. Then he added, “But I’ve still got the prototypes. I can let you.
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