Not because I had done anything wrong... but, or so I thought, I might have a character flaw.We put the children in bed that night and met back in the kitchen. I knew we were going to have a long, drawn out discussion.I should interject here that our sex life had always been adequate for me. John has what most men and women consider a normal cock, about six inches in length. I rarely had an orgasm when we had intercourse. but John, being the considerate man he was, always engaged himself in a lot of foreplay. He also loved servicing me orally and I almost always had an orgasm from his superb tongue, He rarely failed to hug and caress me after intercourse, which usually ended with me falling asleep, totally content.It took most of the night to finally convince John of my love for him and my happiness in the marriage. He wanted to know if all women had thoughts like the one in my diary. I didn't know and told him so. It just wasn't something my female friends would consider talking. Leanne put her arm around his shoulders and spoke quietly. “It wasn’t your fault. There’s no reason to feel guilty.”Jake’s sense of entitlement as Ellen’s dom, pushed back at the guilt. For a long moment, they were in balance and he felt an awful tension. And then the balance collapsed. The guilt engulfed him. He knew that it most certainly was his fault. He could point to a dozen bone-headed decisions springing from his arrogance and ignorance and bad judgment. If he had avoided any one of them, war with the Council might have been avoided and Ellen would not have found herself helpless in the clutches of a merciless animal. And now Ellen, his Ellen, the sweetest woman he had ever known, couldn’t communicate. She could barely move her limbs. And here he, the one who deserved to bear the consequences of his actions, was whole and sound.None of the others brought up how he was to blame, but he knew. Ellen was lying broken in her sickbed, and Jake had as good as put her there.He felt.
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