White. You bought a very expensive dress." "Well hello, Mrs. Cardinal. Yes, I did and I must say, I look absolutely fabulous in it. The store clerk agreed with me. She said that it really complemented my eyes. I also bought a trenchcoat, a mask, a room, and a chauffeured car." "The other expenses were... expected. This isn't like you, Cath. I'm not refusing the expense. I just want to know what's up?" "Well, if I'm going to join the high class call girls union, I just thought I might need a uniform upgrade." "What are you talking about?" "Tell me the truth. You've been manipulating me, haven't you, Mrs. Cardinal?" "Well, duh! That's what we do. We manipulate. We have goals and we work toward them. Have I done something that's upset you?" "That's just it, Ky. I don't know what you've done. I know what somebody has done and I don't know why. I know what I've just done and I'm not sure what to expect." "You're not making sense, Cath." "Well, I've been through a lot in the past few. Wonderful course and quite difficult you know. Meaning they were totally embarrassed, played like a novice and probably lost a dozen balls in the process. But, at least they can say they've played there.St Mellion? Oh of course, dear boy, play there all the time.TPC Sawgrass? Yep, been there too. (Only on the Nintendo though).And so on. Lying bastards!I am no exception, sad to say. Related below is a blow by blow account of my miraculous game at Hindhead Golf Club, in the wilds of Surrey. Did you know it's a qualifying course for the open? Well it is or was and that should give you a clue about the degree of difficulty faced. (Bet you're hooked now eh?)Now, I am not going to give you all eighteen holes worth of tragedy, bad luck and mis-fortune suffered while in the company of two very good players, but I will relate a truncated and précis version, cutting out the swear words and many of the errant shots.Hole 1. Played off the yellow tees. Par 4. 401 yards long. Straight ... ish.The.
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