“Oh no, thank you for inviting me. The ribs were fantastic!”Despite the fact that he hadn’t been invited, nor had his four unwelcome friends, I graciously responded. “Your welcome, I’m glad you guys could make it.”“It’s a beautiful south Florida night, huh.” He observed.“Yeah, we were lucky. Rain was forecast earlier in the week but it never showed up.”“Lily, sure looks good. Even better than she did in High school, especially since those tits have gotten bigger and her ass has filled out since she had the kids, don’t you think?”I really didn’t appreciate his observations of my wife, but I chose to ignore the crass remarks in the interest of a continued peaceful evening. “Yes, I’m very lucky there too.”“You know Lily and I dated in high school.” He continued.I was aware that he and my wife had dated, but that was twelve years ago. She told me all about their relationship. She also told me that the farthest they had ever gone was she gave him a hand job on junior prom night. “Yeah,. . from a block back. Needless to say, I was very careful. When we got to Wendolyn's house, the movers were gone.Mrs. Porter was already losing the harried look.She pulled on my arm, "Please? Come in. I want to make sure it's all gone." She looked over her shoulder at the police car and hollered, "Officer? Please come with us?"He vacated his car and approached, "Ma'am?" the officer questioned."I've sold the house, per my soon to be ex's request ... I have it in writing. The gentleman who bought the place requested, in writing, that it be stripped to the bare walls. I'm willing to make a donation to the Police Retirement Fund if you'd be willing to do a walk through." She waved a Benjamin under his nose.He did that thing police officers do and spoke into his collar, "Dispatch?" Car 54 doing a walk around." Thank you."The Benjamin disappeared.Whoa! Stripped wasn't the word. Even the tubs and commodes were gone ... the only doors left were the front, back and patio. The place looked like.
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