He’s not a real reindeer, he’s a big black man with an enormous cock! His antlers are stuck on the side of his head with Blu-Tack!”Mary Christmas: “Yes, but he thinks he’s a reindeer. Who are we to argue?”Rudy returns from Stage Right, leading eight reindeer. He chains them in two lines in front of the sleigh, and affixes a nosebag to each one. The bags appear to be smouldering, with the same fragrant burning smell as Rudy’s own cigarette.Rudy then stands at the head of the two lines.Carole: “What’s with that stuff that he’s smoking, and why have they all got a bag of it to inhale?”Mary Christmas: “Well how the fuck else do you think they fly?”The curtains close.*****Act Two, scene one.The sleigh sits in the centre of a darkened stage. Lights like stars twinkle past, and a wind blows across it, giving the impression of great speed.Mary & Carole are perched on a bench seat at the head of the sleigh, holding the reindeer’s reins.Various short ars…er… magical servant types can be seen. ”Judy took me through to her bedroom and got me to take off my top. She held a mirror in front of me and pointed. “Look, these are your breast buds. They are beginning to grow and swell. That’s what you are feeling. There can be the occasional pain, but I think it is your clothes rubbing against them that has made your buds so sore. Dab them with a little of this soothing oil balm while I go get you a training bra.”I had no idea what Judy meant but soon found out. She came back with some packets. Mary followed her through and took her top off. Mary and I faced each other. The first time we had seen the other in the flesh. We both blushed."Don't be embarrassed, have a good look, be comfortable with your bodies. You're both developing breast buds. Yours are slightly more advanced than Mary's ones, but she will soon catch up. From now, you need a bra to protect those sensitive buds. Today, I’m going to fit both of you with a bra.”Soon, Mary and I were standing in front of a mirror.
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