"I would put on those flimsy clothes and would stand or sit in front of a large mirror. I'd let myself be seduced by that woman I saw in the mirror who was removing her underwear in the most sensual, most suggestive way possible. And later, when I masturbated, I made love to that beautiful creature who writhed and moaned under my expert touch."That was the most romantic description of a woman masturbating I had ever heard. I wanted to be that image in the mirror which seduced her, I wanted to feel her hands on my body and I wanted to return the pleasure she would give me by making love to her. I embraced her tenderly and we stayed like that for a long time."One of the dangers of these sessions was that I would think of Billy, that I would start to bemoan my loss and sink into depression. My analyst accepts that I'm not yet ready to see other men and considers masturbation a healthy and normal alternative. She also realises that I can't block Billy completely from my mind. So she. Kissing me... and making my insides tremble. His kiss is intense and tender at the same. Our tongues fondling each other's. My legs are trembling. I'm gonna lose myself. I want him more. I can't take it anymore. "Can we... Can we go to the bedroom, Sid?"What am I even saying? And look at him. He's really surprised. He surely doesn't want it. Am I stupid or something? This is embarrassing. I just wanna hide in his arms. "Are you sure, Clare? I promised myself that I won't rush. I want our relationship to last long, so I'm prepared to take it slow."He really thinks about our relationship. Even... Even I don't know, what's happening to me right now. I'm feeling like a vulnerable prey, who's been caught by a gentle hunter. I'm scared. I'm totally under his control. But still, I want him. I'm already on verge of tears. Just look in his eyes and say it. Say it, Clare. "Can you please take me to my room."And just in a second, he's carrying me in his arms... taking me to my room. He puts me.
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