I recognize these thoughts as foolish, and I brush them aside. I focus on better, positive thoughts. On healthier imaginings. The other part of me is happy you no longer suffer. I couldn’t stand to hear you talk about the pain. It made me feel helpless, the simple words I had to offer seeming insignificant and paltry. The ache is eased simply knowing your pain is forever gone. I smile thinking of you reunited with your daughter. The daughter we all wanted, who left too soon. I can see you both, beautiful and happy, relaxing together in a warm, sun dappled meadow, finally at peace. I don’t know how long it will take for my pain to ease completely. It could be weeks, or years. I do know I will never forget you. There is a very warm and safe place in my heart, and perhaps even in my soul, that belongs to you. To your memory. You were the first woman I fell in love with. I wanted you in my life in a permanent and endless way. I will remember your gentle spirit. The obvious depth of. Who should be standing there but my big sister Maggie in the buff shaving her muff? She had one foot in the tub and the other on the edge of the tub and was facing away from the tub and towards the mirror. Most of us would naturally face toward the tub while shaving which made me wonder if this was more than an accident. When Maggie caught a glimpse of me in the mirror, she blushed and then hurried over to shut the door. It could have been an accident but since that day I have come by Randy sitting there and the door is still left open. Maggie is a hypocrite.A few weeks after our 'poker' game we got a few surprises in the mail. The first was earrings from Mark. There were four pairs or dangly earrings with what at first glance looked like ornate gold earrings with thin brushes on them. When we looked closer, they were actually made from a mix of our shaved off pussy brown and blonde hair and they still smelled of all the excitement of that night. What I would have considered sick.
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