"Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Phil is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time his scrotum should recover completely." All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Phil."The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum."Dear Family & Friends,I am sorry that I have not been consistently responsive lately to your emails. I have been somewhat under the weather since my doctors informed me that I have an acute case of Post Islamic Stress Trauma with Apologetic Whitehouse Fatigue (PIST-AWF). For those of you who do not know what that is, PIST-AWF is a newly defined disease that is found to be widespread and highly contagious.Symptoms include, but may not be limited to: Severe pain of the scalp from pulling your own hair while viewing the President pander to Muslim. Amelia was annoyed at first when the Chief Eunuch woke her and dragged her quickly to the bathroom, where two bath-slaves waited to prepare her for her Master.He only said to her, "The Emir has ordered it. You sleep with him tonight."Amelia racked her brains as to why she had been sent for, when Princess Maryam had already been elaborately prepared and had been with him for some time. Had the First Wife succeeded in poisoning David against her? Was she to be ritually humiliated for the amusement of Princess Maryam?Desperate measures might be needed. Amelia remembered something that a school friend had once told her and which had on occasion worked spectacularly on Prince Abdullah, David's father. After all the preparations were finished and just before she was led into the Emir's bedchamber, she demanded and received some oil liberally spread on her hands. The Chief Eunuch protested that he did not understand why she wanted that and she did not enlighten him. This minor victory over.
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