Helena had begun to read out loud extracts from the book she had recently purchased, whilst both she and Anne had screamed with the hilarity, Holy Crap! I rip the packet open and the rubbery condom is all tacky in my fingers! squeals of laughter had rung out Laters, baby! My inner goddess pole-vaults over the fifteen-foot bar! The pair were still laughing when Annes taxi had arrived shortly after midnight. Helena had waved her off, then stumbled drunkenly up to bed. Now, she clicked on the electric light beside her bed and swung her feet onto the rich shag-pile carpet, standing up and smoothing down the satin-soft polyester of her shortie nightie. The central heating was already on so the room was warm and comfortable as Helena headed for the en-suite to grab a mouthful of water from the tap to counter her arid and dry mouth. She shook her head at the memory of the strange and disturbing dream she had just woken from, and went out to the landing, flicking the lightswitch. A. I gazed in wonder at the audience as they applauded him for what they apparently thought was a virtuoso performance. All this time, I had held the belief that the Irish were a nation of song and singing. Famous tenors! World acclaimed groups! Surely they weren’t really saluting his talent. It must have been some kindness they bestowed on the old man. It wasn’t long before the now well-lubricated crowd decided it was time for another performance by another local. This one, an Elvis impersonator in his own mind, was handicapped by his inability to remember the lyrics to most of the songs and his inability to find when to enter and exit the melody. It was another disaster and final evidence that the evening was going to hell in a handcart in rapid fashion. I switched my brandy for a Murphy’s Stout and hung on for the inevitable conclusion. I was frozen in place by the sheer dreadfulness of the performances. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I did neither, and that was probably.
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