Being from asmall southern town, I was unaware of what and how to pick the right barin a huge city, and unknowably walked into a gay bar that was completelyempty. The bartender recognized me instantly. the drinks startedpouring and I was told there would be no charge for the 'savior of thesissies' to drink there. Slowly, over the course of the night, more andmore people started to show up to drink with the 'savior,' and I becomethe highlight of the night. The last thing I remembered was the sixthbeer being passed my way before I blacked out.The next morning I awoke to a news reporter talking about the success ofmy speech the day before. My mind was pounding from the night before andall I wanted to do was shut it off. Reaching for the remote, I noticedthat my hand were chained to the corners of a bed post. Unable tocomprehend my situation I started to thrash about and found out that myfeet were chained as well.After exhausting myself for what seemed like eternity, the door on. He wrote about them, gave speeches about them, taught other pilots about them. For all I know, once a month he'd be screwing his wife and she'd yell out "mid-air collision, number 2 engine is out, hydraulics are gone, what do you do?" and he'd have to answer before she'd finish him off.Anyway, whatever his technique, that cool handed fucker splashed down like he was flying a seaplane. The biggest problem they had (I swear I'm not making this shit up) was that the life rafts are strapped to the airplane doorway, and the fucking TSA rules about nobody taking anything sharper than a tampon on board meant they had to - no shit - borrow a fucking knife from one of the rescue boat guys to cut the raft loose before the plane sank. (Your fucking tax dollars at work. Thanks, assholes.)Anyway, I don't have any kind of system like Sully did, but I like to think about what I'd do in certain situations. They're pretty general, but I think they're important. For example, some guy breaks in to your.
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